Computer Limericks

Computer humour by Louis deMartelly

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Lou deMartelly, Author

Charles Martel and the Lance of destiny

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This thing began as a relief for the frustrating hours of computer programing (and now website design!). In a way, I believe all posible limericks already exist somewhere in the ether of space. To find a particular limerick you have to tune into its frequency and download it.

There are seventy in the book, one for each word in the tounge-in-cheek glossary. With each is a more serious description of the point of the limerick - for the computer illiterati. It makes a great gift for the person who knows everything or who knows nothing and those in between.

Scroll down and enjoy a few, of maybe mail us and buy the book! Teachers, ask about the school version, teaches limericks and computers at the same time.

Computer Evolution
They once build a notebook so thin,
That INPUT could never get in.
Nor OUTPUT get out,
Which led to great doubt,
How to finish or where to begin!

The evolution of computers is amazing. Every time they get smaller, they get cheaper, faster and more reliable. Nowhere else in the evolution of mechanics and technology have we gotten any of those improvements without some kind of trade-off.

Back Up Your Stuff!
An obstinate user named Zack,
Completely refused to back.
He copied his files,
To vinyl floor tiles,
Which he glued to the floor of his shack.

Its kind of like remembering to fasten your seat belts. Everyone knows you should, but its easy to forget. A backup is a copy of the file BEFORE you made the changes, so when your simple little change trashes the file, you can copy the backup over the damaged file or maybe ALL the files on your computer!

An Ancient Virus
An archaologist, Iris,
Decoded an ancient papyrus,
Saving each glyph,
in a file type of .tif,
With its own special mumified virus.

Viruses are the nasty little programs that infect your computer. They ride in on infected programs and files. They can come from anywhere. Once you are infected, the infected files you send out infect other computers. The only real protection is antivirus sorfware. Often it is available from your internet provider.